Words in the Silence

Dean’s eyes dart between likely hiding places. It’s a habit he can’t seem to shake even though the terrain here is dirty buildings and alleyways, instead of ragged cliffs and broken trees.   It feels the same, though… there’s always something lurking around a corner.  Hopefully Sam won’t be too long; lately any time spent waiting is giving him too much time to think. 

Cas shifts slightly in the seat beside him, noisy car leather making it anything but a stealth move. 

That’s something Cas has been doing a lot too, since he’s been back… Fidgeting, like he’s just not comfortable in his own skin, or really Jimmy’s skin.

Dean steals a glance at him. 

Maybe that’s the problem, maybe he feels like he doesn’t fit any more, like he has to force himself into a shape that isn’t his, just to be here.  The thought make’s Dean’s gut tighten, especially since he can relate.  He doesn’t want to think about losing Cas again.  Every time it gets harder than the last. 

Cas’ eyes are down, staring at the glove box, but Dean isn’t fooled by that.  Hell, he probably knows exactly what Dean’s been thinking…

“I don’t feel out of place, not with you.”  Dean has to smile at that, Cas didn’t even bother looking  up.  And it should creep him out, but it doesn’t. 

“Would you tell me if you did?”


A straight answer.  Sort of.  He’s tempted to let it go, but he’s learned to hear what Cas doesn’t say and he knows there’s something else.  Something Cas wants him to ask.   Dean checks the alley and the roof of the warehouse across the street again, and thinks about the silence.

“So where do you feel out of place?”  He might regret this, but they don’t usually get this kind of opportunity and for once, he’d like to have all the cards face up on the table. 

The silence stretches like Cas still isn’t sure he should say this, then, “Everywhere else.”

Dean feels pressure behind his eyes, he understands what that means.  

“Yeah, me too.”